Author Profile

Philippa Sklaar

Philippa Sklaar

Philippa Sklaar is a survivor of abuse, author, international speaker and advocate. Philippa immigrated to the USA after she fled from a violently abusive marriage and resolved to learn a lesson and be more careful next time. In America, she met a man who, on the surface, was everything that her second husband was not. Until she owned her own contribution to the dance of abuse she was destined to repeat the pattern. Her story exists as proof of this.

She co-wrote When Loving Him Hurts – recovery from an abusive relationship and The Affair - recovery from illicit sex, lies, and betrayal.  She is also the author of Hot Cuisine, and her clients included dignitaries such as Nelson Mandela and Elizabeth Taylor was her first client in LA. She appeared in the Food Network’s Guy’s Grocery Games with Guy Fieri and with Margaret Cho in Blind Dinner Party.

Her commitment to reduce domestic violence led her to create a nonprofit, The Women’s Voice Project. She created a 14-week program that changes behavior. It is a groundbreaking boot camp that challenges women to flex muscles that they never knew they had. How to heal from the inside out and how to avoid perpetuating or repeating the pattern of abuse. Her program was accepted by the LAPD (Newton Division) and The California Institution for Women.

She is the recipient of the Soroptimist Downey Ruby Award 2017.

"Many people can speak and not write or write and not speak. You do both extremely well. You could easily write a screenplay and star in it. "
-- John W Elman, Editor, Malibu Rotary Surfwriter, Secretary, Malibu Rotary Club

"Philippa, thank you for the riveting talk you gave to our organization and to the counselors who were also present. Our members cannot stop raving about your presentation. Your story is inspirational and your insights profound. You gave hope to victims of abuse and showed how they could become survivors. Please come back when you next visit South Africa."
-- Bev Levy, Executive Chair Union of Jewish Women of South Africa

For more about Philippa and her works, go to

Reviews of When Loving Him Hurts

We cannot see what we don?t understand. Finally, a book about abuse that blazes a path through the complex dynamics of domestic violence and helps the one who is being hurt to look at herself ? with compassion and tough love. To be strategic and smart. To choose herself. This fairy tale busting, no-bullshit, no judgment gem of a book brings together the collaborative genius of a brilliant therapist and a courageous survivor of abuse and offers stories, strategies and solutions to one of the most misunderstood and intractable of human predicaments: when a woman loves a man who hurts her. Compelling, insightful and utterly liberating. I wanted to stand and cheer when I finished reading it. This book will save lives.
-- Joanne Fedler, International best-selling author and women?s rights activist

Videos featuring Philippa Sklaar

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